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The Surname Culture..

Almost all of us put a surname after our names and for many of us our surname becomes our identity before many around us like I am called as “pandey ji” by many of my friends and followers and even I call many people by their surnames. This surname is really helpful in some cases of identity making. The most helpful case with use of surname I have ever noted was when there were 4 girls named as Puja in our class and we used to recognize them as Puja Singh, Puja Awasthi, Puja Mittal and Puja Verma 😊. 


Despite such big help I have experienced, I find the surname culture really dividing and antagonistic. Afterall our surnames decide our casts and religion. I have noted people offering favors to surname-sake like Mishra ji is expected to help Mishra ji and Chopra ji expected to help Chopra ji. I have a facebook friend who bears the same surname as mine, following me on twitter, may seem to many people my close relative. People of same surname appear to fruits of same tree and thus others may be just others for them. Surnames are also symbols of status sometimes, when people address themselves as the son of great Oberoi family, and what to say when your name bears a surname that is common with an eminent personality like the Prime Minister. From Modi Sandal soap to Modi University, all have got their names re-polished with the popularity building of PM Modi. 

I also dislike this surname culture as we ladies are supposed to change our surnames after marriage. This is kind of unfair in my view. I mean why are ladies given any surname and they are supposed to change it later on. Anyways this is not mandatory by law so I have not attempted this. But otherwise it would have changed me from one person to another. 

I am not calling for an end of putting surnames, as I know this is kind of not possible, we have been using it for long and will keep using it for even longer. Phunsukh Wangdu and Ranchod das Chanchad could also have been not so entertaining then. But just imagine we have just names and no surnames. Just like flowers, Rose is Rose, Lavender is Lavender, Lotus is Lotus; not Rose Tiwari, Lavender Sharma or Lotus Dixit. Even Gods don’t bear any surnames; see Shiv ji is Shiv ji, Vishnu ji is Vishnu ji and despite being the son of Shiv ji, Ganesh ji has his own name and fame separate from his father Shiv ji. I believe this keeps their powers and mysticism isolated. One who has prayed Vishnu ji also prays to Goddess Laxmi separately and see she does not bear any surname carried by her husband. She has her own importance and powers, hence, it is important to keep her identity separate.  Though people relate Ram ji with Kshatriya cast and Krishna Ji with Yadav cast, we don’t take their names adding with any surname, Do we?

The surname is also determined by one of the parents, that is father’s name, for a child despite that mothers carry the child since conception, the surname is allotted on the paternal side. 

If we would ever become free from this surname culture, I believe a more united world is possible. More unity and less division means lesser differences and lesser conflicts. Lesser conflicts means more peace and more peace is good for all of us. Isn’t that?

Comments

  1. Hahah very interesting topic. I haven't changed my name on documents. Only on Facebook. 😂😂

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. On Facebook people really wait to see your name changed after marriage.. I know.

      Delete
  2. I so agree with what you have written. My dad uses Singh and I use Kaur. Our real surname Oberoi has never been used my any of us. On paper, we have no surnames. That slot is empty. But unfortunately, could not do that with Karma though I wish I had taken a stand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad to know this dear that people like you take a stand as far as possible. Kaur is a really nice surname you know it means courageous.. Guru sahab decided to give this surname to all women of their community

      Delete
  3. I've been so tired of being called 'Dua' all my life. It's so hardwired that I haven't been able to take up my husbands name post marriage!! Ha ha..The world needs to change :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes darling the world needs to change.. Btw this name dua is really nice.. :)

      Delete
  4. Ha ha you got me lol today with this post. My mother always discuss this topic with me though i never stood for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know many of us feel like this and I am glad I could give it my voice.

      Delete
  5. Wonderful Blog Shipra. I did not change my name.. so much jamela you see!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't change if you don't feel like changing it. It is your identity. :)

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  6. Wonderful post. I never changed my surname but added husbands to mine after marriage

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  7. I never thought of not changing my surname after marriage but your post did get me thinking.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing your views dear. It is just something that some of us feel like. if this has an urge to you, think of making names not surnames.. I think the future needs us to take this stand.

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