Monday, 12 December 2016

People, please don't say or do these things to a pregnant woman

I still remember the weirdest question that I have been repeatedly asked by others when I was pregnant. “Are you carrying twins?”  This question always embarrassed me and even made me furious at times. When I was in my cool vibes, I took it as a normal way of talking to a pregnant lady. But when I was not in my best mood, I felt offended. “Do I look that big? Twins, are you serious?”  This inappropriate question (at least I think so) was asked by even a lady doctor who did my 8th month’s ultrasound.  I admit I was big, sweaty, and crabby but was that really necessary to make a pregnant lady think that she was FAT?

There are other things which people around me (mostly my office mates) did and I hated that. Still, I was really lucky that those incidences were very few.  Some of my (girl) friends used to touch my belly and ask how my baby was doing. I know their intentions were good but I found that really unreasonable. This belly touching was only allowed and authorized for my husband. He used to touch it and used to talk to my baby inside. Like for every pregnant woman, this was really a special gesture for me. When other people did this, I was grinning thinking in mind how to say DONT to them.

Welcome to the strange world of pregnancy etiquette, where even the most educated and sensible people can lose sight of and spy a bulging belly. There are many ill-timed questions that people ask seeing a pregnant lady. Have a look at some of the strange questions I was asked and what I felt like replying:

  1. Are you pregnant? (YES, else what is the reason of this coming out belly?)
  2. How much weight have you have put on so far? (This is something very personal, it is rude.)
  3. So you want a boy or a girl? (Is that really matter?)
  4. Are you planning to go for a natural delivery or C-section? (That’s none of your business.)

5.       Who is going to look after your baby as you are working? Will you quit your job? (Why should I quit my job? Are you interested in doing babysitting in my house?)
People fail to understand that every person has his/her own defined boundary of privacy. And he/she would not like to get this breached for resolving queries of other people. A pregnant lady might be carrying her first baby and she might not like to reveal how her pregnancy trek is going. On the other hand, for some ladies, this could be their second or third pregnancy and they would feel happy to answer your question. However, my advice for those curious people would be to err on the side of caution rather than plough right in.

I have a list of GOOD question that they can ask rather:
  • 1.       How are you doing today?
  • 2.       Have you decided about the nursery?
  • 3.       Are you taking your supplements properly?
  • 4.       Is your husband excited about coming happiness?
  • 5.       When is your big day planned?
  • 6.       May I help you in any way?

Best would be to just don’t bombard the questions over an expecting lady. She is going through a tough time of her life. She needs a lot of encouragement and motivation. So, whenever you see any pregnant woman, just say “You look AMAZING.” Finally, a word of advice for the stars of the show, the pregnant ladies. Don’t let other people bother you with such questions again and again. Answer them and make them realize that whatever you have is beautiful and whatever you do would be the best, for sure!




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