Friday, 4 November 2016

Please don't visit me so quickly!

Birth of a child always gives people a reason to celebrate. As quickly as possible, relatives and friends want to visit the new mother either at the hospital or when she gets home. Some new parents, like me, don't not like this quick visit and may get into a dilemma, "should I allow everyone to touch the baby?" And I totally understand why! Newborns are very delicate and they may easily get infected by germs and other harmful bugs. Not always guests come taking a good bath. Not all the time their hands are clean and not all the time they qualify to hold the baby which has just arrived into this world. There are few other arguments why I didn't like when people visited me at the hospital right after my delivery. 
My boy was born at around 5.30 evening. After changing my clothes, all the hospital staffs left leaving me alone in the labor room. After 10 minutes another attendant came and she told me that celebration was happening outside, and both my husband and father were overjoyed. I had not seen my baby's face till then because the doctor had directly given the baby to my mother in-law. At around 6.15 PM I was taken to my room in the hospital. The room was overly noisy and full of people which include my husband's relatives and my parents. It was a small room with one patient bed, one attendant bed and a small sofa. No one cared to ask me how I was feeling except my mother. I was lying on the bed and my mother was around me. I was seeing my barely an hour old baby getting passed from one person to other. Snaps were getting clicked and uploaded on FB. Even my sister in-law's kids were inside and touching my delicate darling. Guests were overflowing in the room and people even started sitting in space left on the bed where I was lying. 
All this was annoying me seriously. I was badly exhausted and in deep pain. I wanted some peace and lot of rest. But I was not able to close my eyes even for a second. I was hearing loud voices, laughter and chatting happening inside that small room. As a mother, it was my right to hold my baby first, however I was waiting for my turn to hold my own baby for a while! Guests kept on coming till 9.30 night as if that was the last date to fill visitor form. I was about to cross my limit of behaving politely with people who were asking "Dard hai abhi ?" Yes, I had pain in my body and in my heart also. But I didn't want to make the celebration a bitter pill for anyone. After facing huge labor pain, this was another battle that I was fighting with myself. Finally, around 10 at night I was fortunate to get my baby in my hands. I wanted to cry and say sorry to my tiny soul that I was not the first one to say hello to him. 
It’s understandable that relatives want to visit the baby and parents, but I really don’t understand why visiting at the hospital? It's actually a time when both the baby and the mother need some quality together time. It's an emotional moment when new parents should be together to give support to each other, to encourage each other and to love each other. I agree, some people welcome and appreciate the visits within hours of delivery but I feel guests shouldn’t assume they are needed at the hospital and should check in first. Everybody has their own thoughts and reason when it comes to giving people access to their child. And everything is okay, because it depends on what your comfort level is. It's absolutely okay if you go on hiding your baby for some days after birth as it will comfort you and keep the baby safe from germs. And it's also needed for the new mother who should do maximum rest rather than doing another exhausting activity of serving guests. And if you want to enjoy the celebration in the presence of all the relatives and family friends, they will never disappoint you in coming quickly to the hospital. They just need the good news!

No comments:

Post a Comment