Friday, 4 November 2016

Anniversary, before and after kids..

The anniversary celebration is one such day every wife looks for. But after my first anniversary, I never had much expectation from my husband. I know how husbands change after marriage! And so I’ve never been the type to demand expensive gifts or elaborate displays of affection. But in a deep corner of my heart, I always wanted my husband to surprise me with his gestures of love on our anniversary and contrary, my husband being a non-romantic never did any such thing. No issues, I learned how to make myself happy when I want to. 

Then the day came when we became parents and my expectations changed a bit more. I accepted the fact that after having kids couples never get much kick to celebrate their anniversary. However, I didn’t anticipate that it would be so difficult to get five seconds for ourselves once we have a baby running around. In my post "How we think before and after becoming a Mother" I tried to depict how a mother's thought process changes after kids. And now have a look how our Anniversaries change after becoming parents:

Planning for celebration
Before : We spend a good amount of time in all planning and preparation. We often plan a weekend away or a romantic dinner at a favorite restaurant followed by drinks. We also plan for movie outing where we sit hand in hand with our spouse.
After : We rarely get a chance to go for dinner as we fear of our kids making disaster there. Many times husbands forget their anniversaries and wives pass the whole day in making them remember what is the date today!  
Movie outing
Before : If we decide to go to a movie with dinner, we go to the best of theaters and see something we both, husband-wife, have been waiting to see forever. Best of theaters means instead of classic and silver, we get tickets for comfortable lounge sitting.
After : There is absolutely no Outing now. We search for online movies that are less long because we can never stay up long enough for a full-length Bollywood movie. Even if we go for a movie, we often regret sitting there blinking at our babies continuously going to washrooms and asking for pop-corns.
Anniversary Shopping
Before : We probably buy a whole new outfit for the occasion with roaming store to store. Ladies spend hours doing your hair and nails. Husbands may not be much excited about shopping but they care what to wear when going out.
After: We use Online shopping option as we can't afford to go for a special shopping with kids. We get everything pre-ordered and sometimes shopping makes no sense. It's only anniversary, it comes every year!
Romance
Before : We try our best to behave romantic that day. And worth mentioning, so many LOVE YOU messages, bouquet,surprise gifts and lots of love expression. This is the day when we feel we are so fortunate to marry our partner.
After : Our idea of ultimate romance has completely changed. We want peace and good sleep. No messages and no flowers, and ladies like me buy their gift herself. And we often think why anniversary comes every year. Why not we married on 29 FEB (leap year) !
Remembering it
Before : We start marking calendar months before. We pre-plan things and may go for vacation. We write “anniversary” in big letters in our TO-DO list and color a little hearts around the day.
After : Many times we totally forget the day until we receive a call from a friend or family member. And God bless Facebook, we get reminders for anniversary also. Instead of feeling guilty that we forget our anniversary, we justify it saying “we have changed, we want every day as simple as it can be”.
Still, we count for our anniversary every year, at least wives do for sure!

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