Skip to main content

Please stop comparing my life with movie "Ki & ka"

First of all let me confess, I haven't yet watched this movie "Ki & Ka" but I do have things to say about it. Ki & ka is a movie (what I feel) that spins over a clever and easily marketable topic that can be communicated in a single sentence. It's about battle of sexes. I don't have any personal issue with such battles until they harm and misguide people about the idea of living a happy life. This movie is showing the gender role reversal where an ambitious woman who wants to climb the ladder of success is married with a progressive male partner who is happy to stay at the bottom. He cooks, cleans and plays the perfect house husband while she toils away. I guess this movie features a conversational humor and gives a wrong impression about working wives. I feel sad about this rambling story, which is stretched to more than 120 minutes without adequately exploring the issues it stokes (my sister told me the whole plot and the story).
My husband is doing work from home since last many months and I am going office, as usual. My mother in-law stays with us for looking after our son and I am so thankful to my husband that he is always there at home to help his mother in doing so. Working from home is not an easy thing for him. Our son now understands that Papa is inside the other room, working on his laptop and talking to someone over phone. All these things are sufficient to attract our 17- month old boy and he tries his best to get Papa outside, everyday. He knocks the door of the room, he cries at times to his loudest limit and on top of everything his sweet voice calling "Papa" is enough to melt my husband's heart for leaving his work. Still he's trying excellently to balance things. In fact, he is adorable in his part that he, more or less has taken charge of a mother who attends his son on very moment when he needs his parents.
However, people don't admire his commendable efforts. After this very movie got releases and my husband went office for a meeting, his team-mates said that he reminded them movie Ki & ka. I don't know how people are seeing similarities between this money-making idea movie and our real life situations. To my deepest thinking, I could understand that as in movie Kareena Kapoor works whereas her husband Arjun Kapoor is a stay at home husband, I go out for work and my husband stays home “and work”. But is this the likeness between the theme of the movie and how we, husband-wife, are helping each other?
We have decided to go like this because we feel this is the best way to live a happy life. In movie the character kabir stays home because he doesn’t want to be an “MBA robot”. But my husband “stays home and work” also. And I am not at all that much ambitious that I can’t acknowledge my partner’s efforts. I find him the best man who has no identity crises with his wife going office whereas he stays home. I see him as an outstanding employee who works till mid night to complete his office work. And I feel he is the best father in this world who has no issue in changing diapers of his son and even attending client calls taking his son in his lap.
So, to all those people who commented on my husband referring this movie, “Perhaps you all couldn’t understand what a husband is doing for his wife, a father is doing for his son and a family person is doing for his family. All you are seeing is a man staying at home (he is working also, you already know) and his wife going office. So please stop judging and commenting us. For the movie which you have enjoyed, I want to show a blunt reality behind it. Ki & Ka is about that washing machine commercial that suggests that domestic dynamics will change for good if men start washing the clothes. The binaries along which both the characters are plotted leave no room for negotiation. Thecharacter kia hates to do domestic work and can you tell which today’s women doesn’t? Thecharacter kabir doesn’t want to be a corporate drone and tell me which man wants to be one? At no point these two frames merge, and by sticking the characters in His and Hers corners, the movie misses an opportunity to examine the taboo that society forces on men and women. The taboo that laughs at a man if he stays at home, people who try break the bond between husband-wife and narrow mindedness that limits the roles of life partners. So please stop appreciating the ideas that can bring turmoil in relationships. Not all family disputes end at happy note like our new generation movies, some of them get sad endings and in real life sad ending can’t get fixed easily."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

पत्नियों के लिए भी एक व्रत का प्रस्ताव..

अरे याद है ना.. हर साल की तरह वो प्यार का त्यौहार फिर से आ गया.. अच्छा तो आप कंफ्यूज हो गई कि ये वैलेंटाइन डे तो कब का जा चुका अब किस प्यार के त्यौहार कि बात करने लगी मैं.. बताती हूँ बताती हूँ.. अपनी हिन्दू सभ्यता में भी एक प्यार का त्यौहार होता है "करवा चौथ.."अहा, क्या उत्सव है प्रेम का. पहले प्रेम मिश्रित सेवा फिर सेवा के बदले प्रेम मिश्रित उपहार. वाह..

बाजार पट गए है डिज़ाइनर चमकदार छलनी से लेकर गोटे लगी थालियों से और होने भी चाहिए. आखिर इस कदर महान संस्कृति जिसमें पति को देवता मान कर, उनके लिए दिन भर भूखे प्यासे रहकर पत्नियां व्रत करती हैं, उनकी उम्र बढ़ाने जैसा ईश्वरीय कार्य करती हैं, उस दैवीय व्रत का इतना उत्सव तो होना ही चाहिए. और याद रहे चरणस्पर्श करना एकदम जरूरी है व्रत के नियमो के हिसाब से नहीं तो पति की उम्र से छेड़ छाड़ हो सकती है. समझ नहीं आता इतना ज्ञान आया कहा से हमारे पूर्वजो में जिससे ये पता चला कि अगर पत्नी दिन भर भूखे प्यासे रहकर चाँद की पूजा करे तो पति की उम्र साल दर साल बढ़ती जाती है? वैसे धन्य है भारतीय महिलाये. पति चाहे शराबी, जुवारी कबाबी कैसा भी हो, पतियों…

#MoreIndianThanYouThink Being an Indian Mother is Success for me

This world is a beautiful place. It’s really amazing how different countries with their unique cultures exist in harmony here. I know, there are some exceptions; however, I think that is almost negligible when I see the culmination of values and beliefs in our universe. Everyone is exclusive and different, yet all of us make this planet livable. As a mature person who got the chance to understand the ethos of a few other continents, I can proudly say that our country holds a different space in this world, a culture that is known for its strong family system and core values. Feeling proud about our mother land is no unique. But being an Indian, I have gained so much at my professional front.


Yes, I am a working mother of a 3-year-old boy. I have close to 9 years of experience in software industry and I am looking forward to work for more and more years. Being a mother and being a professional person bring two different kinds of challenges in life. And when you work for a demanding clien…

#MothersDay - A blog by Divya, ANAYA's Mother

A mother becomes a mother the day she gets to know about the little embryo inside her womb.
It all started one fine day when I did my pregnancy test and it resulted positive. Life changed from the very moment. I was excited but a bit nervous too. I and my husband were working in two different cities that time. So the excited supermom in me felt extra responsible to take care of the baby. I started spending my days managing home, office, long travel, shopping, exercise, reading and any and every thing which could be added to the list. My baby kept me motivated and never let me feel alone. At times when I felt low she kicked me as if she was saying ‘Don’t worry mom. You rock! :) However, by end of sixth month I felt exhausted and I decided to move to my mother’s place for delivery and give some time to my husband to settle down with his work life.



After seven hectic years of work life I was enjoying a peaceful time. Days were spent in all sorts of preparations to welcome the child. But…