Friday, 21 October 2016

On your second marriage with cell phone

Your are driving to reach office and you get stuck in heavy traffic,  what’s your first thought?  You need to get off your cell phone!
You just switched on your cell phone's wifi and you notice 100 messages from your friends groups. You couldn't stop yourself in replying them!
You heard Narendra Modi is delivering speech in his political rally, you immediately turn on data connection of your cell phone. You even keep on checking the highlights of his speech !
Sound familiar? I see a problem in today’s husbands that they are cell phone addicted. And this disease is spreading like anything. In last 15 years the cell phone has conquered our world. And quest of smart phones have made them more powerful. I could make a list of 50 ways these phones have improved our lives. But if you’re like me and can remember what life was like before we all got cell phones, you may wonder if all the changes are really for the good. Remember the days when we were not having phones. We used to enjoy outings, visits to relatives, movies without having thoughts of updating selfies and photos. We used be serious in work without being distracted by ringing phones or by the white glow of someone texting next to us.
Adjusting with new technologies is not new for people. Electricity, TV, phones, computers, and many other new inventions have brought significant changes in our lives and in the way we related to our spouses, our children, and our friends.  But the pace these new technologies are taking is breathtaking. We’ve seen the evolution of the internet and of smart phones, and then the convergence of the two. We can now be online wherever we are, 24/7. The technology is updating itself so quickly that most of us are barely aware of how our behavior is changing and our relationships are getting affected. 
My husband's day start with checking facebook, twitter, whatsApp and different news feeds. As if, his friend would get angry if he doesn’t reply them. During any typical day whenever he gets time, he peeps over his cell phone, checks updates and reply them. He even shares with me good posts and jokes at times. And no wonder his day ends with checking updates, again. His discussion groups not only forward jokes and images but also do chats about our country’s politics. One such group has half of the people who are Narendra Modi fans and remaining are Arvind Kejriwal admirers. Although I am not biased towards any of these leaders however I have problem with this group’s bustle. This group is so active that my husband is always busy in participating debates going over. I hate them and I hate them all. I know discussion over economy and politics is good but not at the cost of relationships. I get two days (weekends) in a week to talk to my husband and these free people (including my husband) don't realize the importance of family time. I want my husband's attention which his phone is getting these days. I want him to talk to me more about our lives and family. And I dislike listening how witty his group is while chatting about any xyz topic. I am kind of jealous with his cell phone and I felt sad when he said to me "A phone with good camera can even make you beautiful" (I might not be beautiful but I don't need a camera to enhance my looks). 
So to all husbands, it’s not that the technology is inherently bad. It actually helps us connect with many people in positive ways. The problem is that so many people are failing to ignore and control it. It’s as if they are married to their cell phones. So I would suggest, no device while having dinner, no phones at bed and no phone while spending time with family.  When you’re with someone, that relationship is your priority. Retraining to keep yourself away from cell phone will take some time. But keeping them in their rightful place will open up the door to more intimate communication with your spouse and family .If you can’t live without a gadget throw it away.  If a gadget is engrossing most of your leisure time, rule of thumb- throw it away!
A message for my husband: Life is too short dear.  Let’s not invest that little time we have in meaningless endeavors. Let’s spend this precious time in loving and caring more to our family and to each other. 

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