Friday, 21 October 2016

Mothers are beautiful even while delivering the baby

After 1 and a half year of a blissful married life, we, husband-wife, decided to bring a new member in our family. But somehow I was not able to conceive. Giving it  immediate attention, I went to a gynae to get a checkup done. I wanted to know whether I had everything okay for making a baby in me. Then happened an internal (vaginal) checkup by a strange (lady)doctor. I was so uncomfortable while she was doing it that I was literally sweating. After it was done, I wished God please let this not happen to me again. I asked my mother about it and she gave me a harsh reply coated in her sugary tone "It's only beginning. This will keep on happening until you get your baby out." I was completely unaware of the level of discomfort that a woman feels, starting from checkups to delivery time, after conceiving the baby. Apart from physical displeasure, every expecting mother goes through so much of mental and emotional uneasiness. 
Along with preparing myself for such coming checkups, I had one more thought in my mind. How my nether region and other body should look if I'm going to the doc? I'm not sure if I was the only person who had this silly thought but yes I had it at that time. I started keeping my legs and private area waxed and clean properly. Before every doc visit, I used to apply a blob of moisturizer over my body. Even I started thinking how should I look internally when I'm going to the hospital for giving birth. I had a big reasoning behind it as 'that area' was going to be front and center on the big day. And I wanted to present myself as a believer of extreme hygiene and cleanliness. But achieving this was not easy. After a certain time during my pregnancy, I was not able to properly reach my lower parts. I was many times frustrated because of difficulty in tidying myself. I was supposed to give pressure over my tummy to do all this cleaning for my lower parts. That's why I also had the fear of hurting my soon-to-be-coming baby. However, I tried my best to keep the exit area of the baby well cleaned along with keeping my legs and other body parts looking perfect. 
But when labour and the whole process started, I had lost all my senses of sanity and dignity. All I wanted was to take the baby out safely without thinking how I am looking while shouting and crying. I gave least thought to If I was sweating, grunting or going messy. It's completely useless to say that the vanity word came into my mind even once during the whole delivery process and I even felt okay that my lower areas were actually out of sight. I understood a lesson during that whole painful and stressful time. No one in the labour room was interested in noticing my waxed and cleaned legs. For that matter, my gynae never ever had the time to see my extreme cleanliness. Doctors and the attending staff were actually hooked in doing that messy game as early as possible. So they were increasing my pain stimulating medicine. They had least concern about my looks and most of their worries were for crowning the baby. I realized no matter If I was looking like a giant ball or a beautiful flower, I had to go through a not-so-clean process of giving birth and that is not at all sexy. So it doesn't really matter how one is looking after conceiving the baby or while delivering a baby, she has to get dirty at times and that's the only way to come out of it. I now believe "Mothers are naturally beautiful in every moment."

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